Hey y'all.
So today's post will be a blog post and a ranting session. I apologize in advance if I kinda bounce all over the place.
I had a friend, Mary*, that seemed to be pretty cool. We hung out a couple of times out here in Hawaii... and she and I seemed to get along rather well. Her boyfriend was a military member, which was yet another thing that we had in common. One weekend, she stayed the night and we all were drinking. In the midst of our jovial intake of spirits, she received a phone call and left the room. We didn't think anything of it, until she didn't come back. We went looking for her and found her curled up and crying.
I had no idea what she was saying, all I knew was that she was upset and that she was my friend and I needed to make sure she was okay. We waited for her to calm down and she told us that a mutual friend of ours had just found out that a family member was terminally ill... and that he was wanting to come see her seeing as she was his best friend. So he came over and we went inside to give them some space... He was upset and only wanted his best friend. (Mind you, this was the dude that she was doing the bed sheet tango with) She promised that they weren't doing it anymore, that she wanted to focus on her relationship with her boyfriend.
Later that night, we were sitting out on the front porch and she told us that she was so upset about the news because she could relate. And by relate, she meant that she had cancer... and only had a year and a half to live. This was a huge bombshell. She looked so healthy. The next morning, her and I were sitting at the table, and she told me that her meds that she took could make her live up to 2 years. I told her I would keep her in my prayers. She went as far as to show us each of the pills that she had to take.
We continued on with our day and she said that she had to go home cause her boyfriend was upset. I told her to let me know when she got home and to drive safe and with that, she left.
Two hours later, I received a text message from Mary stating that she was at the hospital and that she would fill me in later. I was a nervous wreck. I didn't know which hospital, and I didn't know what had happened. Finally, 6 hours later, she told us that she was in the mental ward, and that she had thoughts of causing permanent harm to herself and it scared her so she went to the hospital.
The following morning, we went and visited her in the mental ward... She was on some pretty good drugs, so she wasn't completely there. Her best friend was there as well, and they were all over each other. -Signal the first Red Flag-
After the visit, I didn't know how to feel, so I settled with happy that she was okay. About two days after that, she had signed herself out of the hospital, even though she told us she didn't feel any better. But her mom was there, so we weren't too concerned. Later that day, she messaged us saying that while she was in the mental ward, they did a biopsy of her tumors and it came back as a lump of cells. That it wasn't cancer. -Signal second Red Flag- But, misdiagnoses happens more often than we would like, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I asked her how her parents were handling the health insurance bills... because that can be pretty stressful on someone... and she told me, "I signed paperwork when I was 18 that barred them from seeing what I get done health wise." -Signal next Red Flag-
Two days later, she messaged us and said that they had drained the cyst in her neck. When I asked her what she was talking about, (a cyst is very different from a tumor), she said that they did more tests and it turned out to be a cyst. -Signal final Red flag-
So, my list of lies that Mary has told me are the following:
1. She had cancer
2. It was a benign tumor... not cancer
3. Turns out the benign tumor was actually a cyst... the doctors had it wrong and she had been paying thousands of dollars on harsh medicine for her body... but she was cool with it.
4. She wasn't boinking her guy best friend while still with her boyfriend.
5. She barred her parents from seeing what their health insurance was being used for.
Hefty list.
So, I confronted her. I asked her about everything. I have had members of my family pass from cancer. I know how much the world's most expensive health insurance covers... And it isn't a lot. Anything that is associated with cancer, it's expensive. She then tried to tell me that she was discharged by her doctor... that she didn't sign herself out. When I sent her the screenshot of our discussions... all of a sudden, "everything is a blur."
I couldn't take it anymore. I called her on her lies. I called her out on everything. I caught her in her lies, and like her imaginary tumor, I cut her out of my life. I don't need someone who is going to lie about serious things like that.
When I asked her what she was going to do about her boyfriend, and if she was going to tell him the truth, she said, "I don't want to ruin his Christmas. Once my mom and I get a place, I will move in with her and then I will tell him." She's basically using him for a place to stay... when he thinks he is being the most supportive person ever.
Evil girl. So glad that I discovered who she really was before I got in too deep.
*Name has been changed
Whew. I feel worlds better getting all that off my chest.
Anyway, I have been doing everything I can to get into the Christmas Spirit, and it got me thinking. What is the Christmas Spirit? Here's my answer:
It's not about gifts, it's not the lights on the house, or the ornaments on the tree. It's sitting in your home with the people that you love and knowing that you are happy, healthy, and in good company. It's seeing your fellow mankind and smiling and waving instead of avoiding eye contact like it were the plague. It's going out and feeling full when you are with a group of friend and y'all are laughing and having a good time.
I see all these videos of kids losing it when they get socks or clothes... And it breaks my heart. So I will do everything in my power to make sure that when I have children, that I pass that same message along. Christmas Spirit = Love.
Trent is still off doing Navy stuff, so I am going to finish off the Christmas Cards and get caught up on laundry and housework.
In the mean time, what are some traditions you have in your family? Have you ever been in a situation where you knew someone was lying and they just continues to lie like that? It's so stressful!
-Haley
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